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Our friends with a woman, a person who's faced and conquered many challenges, which I admire. But, she's repeatedly taken by surprise by people. Her spouse ended their marriage, which came as a huge shock. Many of her social circle drifted away at that point, because they seemed drawn to her husband. It shocked her deeply. She put in increased attention toward our bond, likely grasped more clearly the meaning of companionship.

Ongoing Issues of Disappearance

Throughout this period, several of her friends have drifted apart leaving her certain of the reason. Her previous job became hostile, even though she had been highly competent, her exit happened not understanding the reason for the change.

Present Situation

Lately, both of us stepped back from work leading to more each other more, however, I feel my role between us is as the audience. I open discussion points and she changes them to her own topics. Regarding political views, she holds strong opinions. I try to recommend verifying facts and alternate views.

She has been organizing a vacation to a country I know well repeatedly even called home for some time. I tried to provide personal experiences, yet it was met with resistance. She essentially only wanted my agreement with her choices. I've just come back from a month in that country and she wants to reconnect, but I don't.

Considering the Choices

I am unwilling in this role who cuts and runs without a word, yet I doubt she will ever comprehend the consequences of her behaviour on how I feel about myself. Right now, I am in avoidance mode. What should I do?

Ways Forward

You could end things abruptly, yet this is rarely the peaceful resolution we imagine. Yet having a direct talk with a view to working things out requires bravery and willingness for each of you.

Professional advice indicates trying a effective method for resolving disputes:

"Initially is to state what typically happens during your discussions. Aim for this to be based on facts and basically an unbiased account. The second involves sharing the way it affects you emotionally. This allows for no disagreement about this. Emotions are your feelings, naturally. Step three involves requesting how you are both going to change the interaction in your relationship."

Keep in mind that she also has a point of view, meaning you must to stay open to acknowledge it. A helpful technique is telling to the other person:

"Now you talk and I'm going to not say anything for a set time."

This can be successful to encourage understanding.

Final Thoughts

Your friend could ignore all you say, for those who have a self-protecting mindset: they rely on a narrative about themselves they're unable to release because their very survival depends upon it and it represents they've known. It's tough when there seems no thoroughfare in such cases, only cul-de-sacs. Yet she could at first react this way then consider your perspective. If a resolution isn't found a fix, you'll have satisfaction knowing you were open and direct.